you are the stories you tell yourself

and a single sentence can shape the architecture of your entire life.

“I’m shy at first, but I‘ll open up once you get to know me!”
“I tend to overthink a lot”
“I’m very emotional and prone to stress”

These sentences were the scripts I recited, time after time, not only to others but also to myself. And while they were true at the time, they slowly became the barriers I accidentally built that hindered my growth.

Yes, I’m timid. But I also spoke up in rooms full of people to share what I’m passionate about.
Yes, I overthink. But I also knew how to step back, take a deep breath, and let go.
Yes, I’m emotional. But that didn’t mean I was irrational.

We are all made of contradictions, full of conflicts and complexities. But somehow, there are certain stories that we unconsciously cling to, while silently discarding the parts that don’t fit the script, the other truths about us.

Over time, these stories harden; they take root inside our brains, settle deep into our hearts. They can either ground us or cage us. And if you’re not careful, a single sentence can become a prophecy you live by. Not because it’s true, but because you keep telling yourself it is.

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Maybe it’s time we reflect on whether the stories were ever truly ours to begin with.

Our parents, our childhood, schools, friends, societal expectations, and a myriad of things that continuously influence us from the moment we were born — each one collectively affects our perception of ourselves.

I didn’t see myself as timid until I overheard my parents say it to a teacher. I didn’t think I was an overthinker until my friends gave it a name. Again and again, I absorbed these outside definitions, repeating them until they felt like my own voice.

Because somewhere deep down, I believed that others might know me better than I knew myself.

However, these stories, once an anchor that defines who you are, can hold you back from moving forward (or moving in any direction at all).

“That’s just not who I am”
“I don’t do things like that”

These phrases, repeating themselves like broken records, imprison me in my own life.

How many versions of myself never got to live, because I didn’t question the performance I was told to play?

In Atomic Habits, James Clear posits that identity shapes actions, not the other way around. Yet, we are conditioned to believe the opposite. We chase proof before permission. We think we have to earn the right to call ourselves anything.

Write 3 posts per day, and maybe you can call yourself a writer.
Go to the gym every morning, and maybe you’ll be considered an athlete.
Draw 1000 paintings, and you might finally qualify as an artist.

This mindset keeps identity locked behind achievements. It treats growth as something that you have to prove, not something you enact. And when the results don’t come fast enough, we abandon the title, the story, the maybes. Not because there is a lack of talent or progress, but because we don’t allow it enough time to emerge.

Belief begins in language, in intention, in resolution.

If you don’t actively, consciously, deliberately choose your story, you’ll forever live inside someone else’s scripts, putting on labels that were never truly yours.

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Just because a story has been told for a long time
doesn’t mean it’s true.
Just because it feels familiar
doesn’t mean it still fits.

We outgrow stories the same way we outgrow old clothes. Only in this case, the clothes are metaphorical; we cannot physically feel their tightness and worn-out fabrics damaging our skin. So we kept wearing the same old stories with a lingering discomfort we couldn’t identify.

Maybe it’s time we stopped reciting the lines that no longer serve us.

It’s time to lay out the scripts we memorised and choose which ones to keep, which ones to rewrite, and which ones to throw gently into the fire.

It’s not too late to take back the ownership of your book. You are not bound to a narrative just because it once felt safe. Don’t cage yourself in a single page when the storyline needs to evolve.

You have the pen. You own the papers. Write yourself a story worth living.

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Hi, I’m Janelle☆

Whoever you are, I hope today has been kind to you!

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